The best times bring the worst

Since Sunday Zach has been here and we've spent every possible moment together. It's been so amazing, but then it got me thinking about how much i'm really going to miss him when he deploys. The day is almost here and i'm breaking down more each day. I don't know how i'm going to do this, I honestly don't know.

Working the next two days. Christmas is going to be lonely without my guy.

I've decided I need more work. Hours have been getting cut lower and lower at work and it's just not enough anymore. I need another job & I need to get school set back up. It's just been one of those days, it started out so well and now I'm just feeling broken down and alone. I'm missing him more than ever, Sunday cannot come soon enough.

This alone time I've had today gave me too much of a chance to think about him being deployed in Jan. which was not a good thing. It was hitting me hard and I felt myself about to break down crying in my car during my lunch break. Zach was doing his best to comfort me over the phone but I know he's dealing with so much right now too. I'm trying to be strong for him, I don't want him to worry about me.

I feel another sleepless night coming again. Oh Sunday....I wish you could come sooner.

Typical Monday

Im counting the day until I get to see Zach again. Work went by slowly as usual today, and the fact that I didn't feel good wasn't helping. Still wondering if im pregnant, but it's still too soon for a test I suppose. We'll see...

The day got so much better when I got to talk to Zach. I love how he can make my day so much better so quickly. He was actaully pretty excited at the idea of me being pregnant, he was actually really happy about it. Only downside is him being deployed and missing a whole year of everything.

Off work tomorrow. Still have so much to get ready for Christmas. I've procrastinated so much, it's sad really. Also have so much to get ready for my trip with Zach before he leaves. I really need to get motivated and stop living inside my head.

Twenty Four

Im starting this blog because im going to need some place to write down all my feelings and...well everything while Zach is going to Iraq. So for the next year or so we'll see how this goes and what exactly happens. Hopefully it helps me feel better, pass the time while he's gone, and maybe I can find some other people going though the same thing as I am.

Well there's only 24 days left until Zach leaves for Iraq. Everyday it seems to become a little more real to me that he's leaving for a year and today it really got to me. He was suppose to come down to see me today but plans changed and I don't know when im going to get to see him again. Im really hoping I get to see him again before Christmas, if not I suppose the next time i'll get to see him is New Years Eve.  I really hope everything goes as planned and we get to spent New Years together, if not the next time i'll see him is the few days before he leaves. Wow...that really hit me.